Hello, my lovelies!

Today, we'll be searching for and celebrating those silver linings, segments of joy, and overall advancements in the LGBTQ+ community. The world can always use a bit more positivity. I'm here to bring you a rainbow of hope and a well-needed respite from all of the negativity through the news and media.

Just this September, Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigeg and his husband, Chasten, announced the newest additions to their happy family. The former U.S. Presidential candidate is a huge advocate for LGBTQ rights and awareness and has made history as the youngest Transportation Secretary. With very little LGBTQ+ representation within the government, this is an important milestone for the United States and we wish them happiness in their growing family!

And we've got some breaking news coming your way! For the first time in America, a transgender contestant has won RuPaul's Drag Race during the sixth season of the show! This is also the second time internationally. The contestant, Kylie Sonique Love, had been on the show previously, appearing for the first time in the second season. She highlighted how she hopes watchers of the show will appreciate the growth of the contestants and the passion that they have for what they do. Remaining positive through all of this has been a huge thing for Love throughout the show as it brought up awkward parts of her transition, but she chose to look for the silver lining in it all.

Cuba is making strides towards a new definition of marriage as the "voluntary union of two people", versus the antiquated definition of "union of a man and woman". This change, which is still in progress, would open the door to gay marriage being legalized and accepted in Cuba. It is absolutely wonderful seeing these changes being realized and allowing for development in legislature. We're eagerly waiting to see these changes made and while it's yet not fully integrated, this progress is definitely something to celebrate!

This August, the Tokyo Paralympic Games brought in a record number of LGBTQ+ athletes to participate. These athletes are often underrepresented, as in 2016 when only 56 (publically) LGBTQ+ athletes participated, whereas 185 were able to participate in 2021. It is touching to see the athletes' responses to this change and the support they received through the pressure of the games. In addition, the support and respect these athletes have for one another is a unique relationship, as they have many special experiences they are able to bond over, including the stress and preparation they go through to take part in the games. Looking forward, it would be exciting to see even more representation of LGBTQ+ athletes throughout a wide variety of sporting events, but this is already an amazing step!

As we close this out, I want to remind you all to stay positive and look for joy in your lives! Although things may be looking down for the moment, there is always something to celebrate or smile about. Keep a lookout for more positive stories in our next issue!

Dear Queer Auntie,

Wondering Over Words

Hello there, dearie!

I can understand where you're coming from. There are a lot of terms that different members of the LGBTQ+ community may use to self-identify, and some of them might not be ones that everyone is comfortable with. First, do you remember in an earlier issue where we talked about identity, mainly as it relates to gender and sexuality? Well, there are a lot of terms that have been used to describe different identities within the LGBTQ+ community - terms that have been both positive and negative. Several are words that we do not allow on HEX, while some are allowed only in terms of identity - if they're used in a derogatory or attacking manner, that's against the terms of the site. Some members of the community use terms like 'queer' to self-identify as a means of reclaiming them - they don't consider the words slurs but instead see them as points of pride in their identity.

For me personally, it is a community identity as well as part of my sexual orientation - I'm definitely not straight, but I'm not 100% gay, and I recognize more than two genders in the world, so... Queer works for me!

Now, some identifying terms that parts of the community embrace are difficult to reclaim, particularly when they are about certain marginalized communities. Terms used to describe transgender people in the past have since fallen out of favor and use because too much pain has been caused by people using the words as weapons against trans individuals. There are a lot of people who don't want those words to come back, even if they could be reclaimed, because of that pain. This is a completely valid standpoint, so it's important to check with people about the terms they use to identify themselves and whether or not they're okay with you using that term for them.

All in all, it comes down to personal choice and comfort, as well as being able to understand when it is time to take back a word or let a word fade into obscurity. For me, 'queer' is a perfect descriptor and encompasses more than just my sexual orientation as part of my identity. I hope that explains it! ♥

Love,
Your Queer Auntie

Dear Queer Auntie,

Crushing

Hello there, dearie!

I'm a big believer that we can't always help who catches our fancy. Sometimes we even start to like people we initially loathed - people and circumstances change, so who knows for sure? When you're not sure if your affections will be received well, it can be really anxiety-producing. This is especially so for LGBTQ+ folks, as our community often faces a high rate of violence, and while 'gay panic' (here meaning an excuse for violence against members of the community) remains an acceptable defense in court in many places, the danger level rises. This is the first point I want to stress to you - do you feel safe approaching this person about your feelings? Have there been instances in the past where you thought they might react in a way that would put you at risk of harm? Take some time and really think about it, because your safety is really what matters here.

Second, you could always ask him if he's interested in dating men, or if he has in the past. (Again, only do this if you feel safe doing so.) I'm a big fan of direct communication, but I understand that not everyone is up to flat-out asking people. However, direct communication is important, and this helps to make sure that there are no misunderstandings or assumptions.

Finally, I want you to understand that it is not your job, nor any other LGBTQ+ person's job, to be someone's 'experiment' or 'trial run', and that it is also not cool to think of it as your job to 'turn' straight people (which isn't a thing anyway, as they wouldn't have been 'straight' in the first place). You are worthy of someone's full attention, not as an experiment, and I hope that he knows that, regardless of if he's into you or just wants to be friends.

Good luck, dearie, and stay safe! ♥

Love,
Your Queer Auntie