Welcome to the first article of A Beautiful Soul. In this column, we will be sharing coming out stories and what it's like being in the community. Maybe it will help you in your own journey.
What does LGBTQ+ mean to you? For me, it means finding myself. In uncertain times, it has been a family to hold me up when I couldn’t stand. They have helped me onto a path when I was lost and no one cared to come find me. I owe so much to the community that has welcomed me with open and loving arms. How many others do that and with compassion? I can’t think of any.
I’d like to share with you stories of the community. Our first of many beautiful guests - please welcome Tanja. Now, Tanja, please tell our readers about yourself, your story.
(T) - I knew I was different at a young age. I didn’t feel like I fit in, not into any clique. I fully believe my identity had something to do with that. I am a bisexual-demisexual woman. For years, I fell into a pattern. I didn’t make friends because most didn’t accept me being bi. Kids can be harsh, as many of you know. I could never make that connection that my demi-side needed. I didn’t understand this until I was older. I was bullied by my peers, and I eventually caved. I went down this dark path for many years until I met a woman who understood me. She was bisexual and opened an entire world up. She showed me how to love myself and understand what I had repressed for years at this point. That’s something I would like to help others in our community with as well. You are valid, you are loved, you are important, and you are beautiful. Whoever tells you otherwise, you don’t need them.
Well, thank you, Tanja, that was beautiful and very insightful. I'm so happy you found someone that let your true self come forward! We have one more story to share. This person asked to stay anonymous so we will be calling them (A). The floor is now all theirs.
(A) - Thank you for letting me share my story. I am bigender, assigned female at birth. It took me many years to learn what the word bigender meant and that what I was feeling was normal. No one accepted that I identified with both genders at times. They said I was misrepresenting the LGBTQ+ community, that I wasn’t normal and needed to seek help. I'm sure many others were told the same. Bigender is identifying with both genders. If I remember, it's in the same family as gender-fluid, which negates everything I had ever been told. (Yes, I cut all of those toxic people out of my life.) One day, I was talking to someone I barely knew and she told me I was bigender. Just like that, I felt a sense of relief and purpose wash over me. I was validated again. Over two months I researched what it meant to be bigender and decided it was a path I was going to walk down. For the first time in ages, I felt like I belonged. What does being bigender mean? I don’t identify with one gender and identify with both. One day I feel masculine and embrace it, the next I’m feminine and loving it. My assigned gender doesn’t define who I am. One day I am (female name) and the next (male name). I’m also into drag but haven’t come out on that one. Bigender is very open and freeing for me. I’m no longer restricted by what is deemed of me.
Thank you for sharing your story with us, A. Bigender was not something I was aware of and you definitely opened my eyes to a new world. Stay strong and keep being the amazing person you are.
Many of us have similar stories. We’ve shared heartache, spiraling, and even laughter in dark times. Each and every one of you is beautiful, no matter what. You each have a life that is precious and should be celebrated. I would love to hear from you, my dear readers. Share your stories with me. I would like to help others so let us share and ask questions. In OUR community, only we can help ourselves. There are those trying to find themselves like Tanja and A were, let's be that woman who showed Tanja kindness and love. The person who showed another that they were valid and mattered.
Until next time, my loves, keep your head high, beautiful soul!
- Sal