Dear Queer Auntie,

I haven't been to a big family dinner since I came out as being bisexual to my friends and a couple of my close cousins. I'm afraid of what might happen if people in my family overhear the wrong conversation. I KNOW at least a few of them won't approve of it. What can I do?

Sincerely,
Lost in plain sight

Hello there, Dearie!

First of all, take a deep breath. I know this can be a very scary thing. The thing to remember here is that this is your truth, and absolutely no one has any right to take that from you or tell you that who you are is wrong. As I often tell people about this and other things, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Family dinners are often stressful for everyone, and there will always be a few in every family that believe that their way is always the right one, but you have a buffer that most don't. You have a few cousins that you already told. If you don't feel comfortable going on your own, perhaps you can take a friend who you can stick with and who will have your back if need be.

Also remember this: if someone overhears something, you might be surprised that they simply have questions that they were too afraid to ask, and you just gave them their perfect opening. The thing to remember there is that most fear is driven from not understanding. So, as much as you are afraid, maybe they are just as afraid.

I know I talked about a few things here so I hope I was able to at least give you a little comfort. But, most of all, remember this is a time that you can be with your loved ones no matter what. So please do try and have some fun and try not to worry too much on WHO you are, but focus on being who you are to them: someone they love dearly and want in their lives no matter what.

Welcome to another article of A Beautiful Soul! Here you will hear about experiences and stories from people's lives within the LGBTQ+ community. This can be anything they wish to share with us, so please be careful proceeding further as this article may contain information that can be triggering.

We appreciate the courage people have shown in allowing us to share their journeys so far. Today, our guest will be sharing and discussing a common worry that many people in our community have.

When I was approached about sharing my story I was hesitant at first. I'm not out to everyone yet so I'll be remaining anonymous. I'm sorry to any who wish to reach out or who may think they know me. This is for my peace of mind and comfort.

With the holiday seasons upon us, it feels a bit cliche to pick this time of year to come out to those in your life, but that is the choice I have made. A few HEXians and co-workers know already. My family, of course, does not. This can be an exciting or stressful time, but for me it's pure stress. I'm grateful to those who have accepted me, but I know my family will not. And honestly, I'm okay with that. I've come to terms with the idea that not everyone will be alright with this.

I will be coming out as queer to my family. I'm sure they think I'm bi-sexual anyways because of comments made. Hurtful or not, I've moved past. While it hurts, I've cut myself off to their words. Not everyone can do this. You may think I'm strong for it, but I'm just tired.

I should add, my family is very close to being cut out of my life so my experience is not the same as many of those reading this. They accept absolutely nothing about me as a whole, much less this aspect of my identity. I fall under the gothic spectrum umbrella. I'm a dominant and queer. My partner, whom I'm not out to, is also not aware I'm queer. This is the only person I'm terrified to come out to as we've been together many years at this point. It shouldn't change our relationship, but I do worry.

So, sorry for the rambling, but it's who I am. Back to the topic. I will be telling my family at Christmas time, just a small gift to my parents, so they have the knowledge of my preference before leaving. I'm a complete Grinch so I'm sure they are awaiting some ball to drop. I'm not afraid I'll be an outcast or feel disappointment or similar emotions I've heard some people feel. I've always been the black sheep in my family. I guess I just want to tell them so it's a part of my life I can move on with, something that won't be nagging at the back of my brain like a broken record.

Remember, this may not be a solution for everyone, but this is the path I've chosen to walk. I hope everyone can find a path they are comfortable with.

>Best wishes to all you witches, wizards, wix, and those uncertain. - Anonymously Gothic

As our guest leaves us, their story will not. As they said, not everyone's story is the same, but we hope you find your truth and happiness.

Thank you, beautiful souls, for joining us this issue. Happy holidays and keep your head held high, for you all are amazing just the way you are!